Sunday, February 26, 2012

To Get Naked, or Not to Get Naked?

Don't get naked.

By all means, take your clothes off if you must, but don't buy into Naked Juice.

Let's pick it apart.

Interesting.... there's 140 calories listed in the 'Quick Stats'.
Too bad that's for half the bottle.
In reality, there's 280 calories per bottle.
Hey, that's the same amount as a Snickers... which also contains the same amount of protein as a Naked juice: 4 grams.
Only, a Naked juice has 28 more grams of sugar. That's almost six teaspoons more.
Snickers might provide their remaining calories from fat... but I know which one will keep me full for longer, and at the same caloric investment, I might as well go for the more substantial one.
Highest calorie chocolate bar commercially available: 1. Naked Juice: 0.

Now let's check out the....

Wow! There are 2 3/4 apples inside? 
Wait, look at the first ingredient on the list below.... that says apple JUICE. 
None of the fiber, all of the sugar. 
In fact, the "Goodness Inside" ought to be showing little cartons of Apple Juicy Juice, because that's the main ingredient in the Green Machine. 
Wait, look back at the bottle. 
The broccoli and apple are equal in size... that means there must be a lot of broccoli in there, too, right?

 Well, Naked Juice was kind enough to list the amounts of broccoli and other greens in a bottle of Green Machine. 
So, how much broccoli is actually in there? I mean, there's a huge floret on the bottle. It must be in there somewhere. 
The answer is 100 mg. That's .1 gram of broccoli. 
Check it out below.


Look at how supportive they are, encouraging you to drink up all those greens.
Don't get me wrong, all of these foods are incredibly healthy. 'Superfoods', as they're fondly called.
But, there's 2.25 grams of them inside.
 Yes, I took it upon myself to do some advanced mathematics and add up the totals.
In every bottle, there are 56 grams of sugar, and 2.25 g of green vegetables. 
In perspective, a small paperclip weighs approximately 1 gram.
You are consuming 2.25 small paperclips worth of greens per bottle of Green Machine.

This beverage has also been pasteurized. Many people overlook the little blurb in the corner of juice containers that read, "This product has been gently pasteurized". Heating juice to a high enough temperature to kill all the potentially harmful bacteria inside isn't necessarily a good move, though. Pasteurization is far from discriminating... it kills the good along with the bad. 

The government claims that pasteurization isn't harmful to the nutrients in a product, but the government also considers pizza a serving of vegetables in public school cafeterias. Until the individuals who make these claims sever their ties with the companies who make these products... I remain a skeptic. In fact, many companies have resorted to fortifying their juices with additives. Skepticism increased.

 One thing that's not up for debate, however, is that the fresher the beverage is, the better.

So how do we redeem ourselves from faux-health-drink-that's-actually-a-subsidiary-of-PepsiCo purgatory, you ask?
Well, you could go eat a Snickers. Just kidding.
In reality, green shakes are a great idea... they just shouldn't contain more sugar than a soda.
(Yes, Naked's Green Machine has 14 more grams of sugar than a Coke.)

Inspired by the oh-so-trendy green drink, but wholly aware of its faults, I came up with a homemade one. This version, however, is actually healthy.

It contains a total of 19 grams of sugar (that's 2/3 less sugar in a Green Machine) and 14 grams of protein (more than 3x the protein in a Green Machine). This Green, Mean Protein Machine is high in fiber and calcium, while a Naked Green Machine contains 0% fiber and 4% calcium per bottle. So keep it fresh, and more importantly, keep it real. Enjoy.

Green, Mean Protein Machine Base:
- 1 large frozen banana, chopped
- 1 GIANT handful of spinach, don't get skimpy
- 6 ice cubes
- 1 tbsp flax, chia or hemp seeds
- 3/4 C almond milk
- 1/4 C Trader Joe's vanilla help protein powder, or your protein powder of choice

Blend the banana, spinach, seeds, and ice until no large chunks remain. Add in the remaining ingredients and blend until smooth. You now have a greens-packed, high protein smoothie that's high in iron, vitamin A, C, E, & D, and provides around 300 calories that don't come purely from sugar (satiety: increased!)

It's delicious as is... but then again, why not add in something else nutritious (and tasty)?

Here are some of my favorite combinations:
* 1 tbsp peanut butter, or 2 tbsp Better Than Peanut Butter + a pinch of cinnamon
* 1 tbsp cocoa powder.
* A big handful of berries. Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries all work well.
*Add a superfood! I'm not saying you have to to hunt down spirulina, wheat grass, or cacao nibs, but if you have them on hand or want to take your breakfast to the next level of enlightenment, blending them into a smoothie is a great way to start.
* For a drink with texture, try blending in a tbsp of coconut or a handful of your favorite nut.

Do you have a favorite shake ingredient? Feel free to share below!


  1. i tried this and it's great! :)

  2. Wow!

    I never would've thought to truly consider how packed this is with sugar and how little nutritional value it truly holds. Thank you so much for putting it into perspective for me. I've been drinking a couple of these weekly. No more. I Can't wait to try this shake.

    Thank you!

  3. I love all of my smoothies with oats because it adds a texture that I love. Also I like to top some of my fruitier smoothies with granola. This is great!

  4. WOW! Amazing to think how the marketing of a certain product can sway the consumer in believing that it is healthy. My girlfriend made me the shake you posted and I loved it! I have my with the Branflakes and coconut. SO GOOD!

  5. I know making your own is better, but I tried this because quite frankly its so much easier to buy and drink a bottle from the store than to put all the time and effort into doing all the ingredients yourself. I see your point on the marketing trick with the low amounts of veggies. But correct me if I'm wrong, all of the sugar in there is natural sugar from the fruits, yeah? Its not like a soda where its just dumped in for the flavor.

  6. You are absolutely correct - no added sugar in Naked Juice! It does contain "natural flavors," however, which you probably wouldn't throw in your own smoothie. Fruit sugar is primarily fructose, along glucose and sucrose. Soda is sweetened with the third sugar, sucrose. This, of course, is ideally speaking... nowadays, such exists sodas sweetened with high-fructose corn syrup, which should be avoided like the plague (in fact, it may be the new plague. Kind of.) The potential GMO's and excessive degree of processing puts HFCS on a whole separate playing field, so in that regard, when faced with sugar or HFCS, the former makes the cake. Eh hem... takes the cake.

    The comparison between Naked Juice and soda wasn't to glorify Coke, only to reveal the way marketing makes two super-sweet beverages seem like diametric opposites, when both contain a huge dose of a widely over-consumed ingredient that packs one detrimental health punch.

  7. I picked this up for the first time ever in my cafeteria at work today. I'm pretty good about reading labels, but I wasn't super hungry, and thought this could suffice for my lunch, along with some string cheese. I knew right away that the sugar content was way high, so I only drank half of the bottle. I like the taste, but I would not add this to my diet on a regular basis. I don't drink soda, and I stay away from most packaged foods, so if I look at this as more of a treat, then it's not too bad of a treat to have only once in a while!

    1. If everyone considered half a bottle of Naked Juice a treat, this country would be in pretty fantastic shape. Kudos.

  8. Another healthy choice dispelled...back to making my own green juice - even if it's less convenient! Thanks for analyzing!!

  9. Agree with most of your comments however there is one big difference between "added sugar" & "natural sugar that come from the fruit". See label stating "All sugars come from the fruit and/or vegetables." Many fruits have natural sugar in them, thus being high in sugar. Candy bars have sugar added to them. (Sugar in a snickers is different than the sugar found in a fruit) This is one big difference.

  10. To add to my above comment: One cup of red seedless grapes contains 23.37 g total sugar. However this is natural sugar in the fruit (no one poured sugar on the grapes). 1 cup of red seedless grapes is much healthier for you than 1/2 of a Snickers bar even though 1/2 of a snickers bar has LESS sugar than 1 cup of red seedless grapes! I will always pick sugar that is natural in the fruit over adding sugar to something even if that means "I am eating more sugar".

  11. ^ right there that guy has a point. even tho it might be the same tax on the body because its still sugar in the end but the different kinds make it different why else would this high-fructose corn syrup be bad for us? why not make everything sweet with it and get rid of everything else? Stuff like this just make me think geez whats the point I should just keep drinking soda and eating sinkers bars every day o and Doritos because its made of corn so it can't be bad either.